Zero Zero
by Enness
Summary: How Getting Hitched should have gone...EJ slash Final chapter up.
1. Here

Series Title: Zero-Zero

Summary: How "Getting Hitched" should have gone… E/J slash

Sequel/Series: 1/4 … Probably. Really depends on where they go from here. Sorry to be vague, but I haven't gotten further than part 3 yet.

Warnings: Slashiness. If that's not your thing, then click "Back" now.

Rating: T. I think. Some mild language, that's about it.

Feedback: Sunshine on the window makes me happy, but I live in Ireland and it's raining right now, so feedback should have the same effect.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. And I mean that both in the sense of the characters and in general, so suing me will get you nothing. Nothing! cue evil laugh

Thanks to Eppy and Wicked Wonder for being beta-rific.  
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Chapter 1: Here

_Eric:_

I'm not too sure how I got here.

Well, that's not exactly right. I know how I got here. 'Here' is my apartment. 'Here' is my couch. The 'here' I'm having trouble with is really more of a 'what'. I'm probably not doing a great job of explaining this. My mind tends to work in a way that's…not exactly normal. "Eric Matthews is bat-shit crazy" is the term used most often, but I don't think of it as crazy. I just see things a little different, that's all. But I guess this really won't make sense unless I start from the beginning.

Looking back, I have Cory to thank for all of this. He was the one who found the apartment, checked it all out, forced me to sign the lease papers. He pointed me in the right direction, then he kicked my ass out onto the kerb and stole my room. Little brothers are fun. But in this case, I really, really owe him one. Because Cory had not only found me the perfect place, he had found me the perfect roommate to boot.

I can't remember when exactly I realised I liked Jack. It's not like being attracted to another guy was anything especially new for me – I've always noticed guys, just like I notice girls, but until now, dating girls had seemed like the easier option, so I just went with it – but this time was different. Maybe it was something special about him, or maybe it was just spending all my time around I guy I was already interested in that boosted those feelings even more. Whatever it was, within a few weeks of moving in I had gone from "vaguely interested" to "full-on crush", and when I get it, I get it bad. I'd find myself completely tuning out whatever he was saying just to look deeper into his eyes. I'd lie awake at night and imagine what it might be like to kiss him, to touch him. I came up with thousands of elaborate plans to find out how he felt about me, even though I knew I'd never use them. Once, and I may never stop being embarrassed about this, I caught myself doodling "Eric Hunter-Matthews" during Calculus class. It's a good thing people already think I'm weird, because otherwise, the sight of some a crazed-looking sweaty guy ripping a page out of his notepad and eating it whole might have made them a little curious.

For a while I thought seriously about moving out. Yeah, I know, it sounds stupid. Crazy even. When you find someone that you care about, that you're attracted to, that you think you might be falling in love with, and you're lucky enough to not only have that person in your life, but to have them living with you and hanging out with you all the time, you enjoy it while it lasts, right? And then you start to see things…little, inconsequential things, that make you think (or hope) that they might just like you back, you take advantage of it. I mean, potential soul-mates don't come along every day – you've got to grab these kinds of chances when they come your way. Life is short, seize the moment, and all those other clichés they keep warning us about in Creative Writing.

But I couldn't. Me, Eric Matthews. Chick magnet in high school, already building up a rep in college, I had never had any trouble asking any girl out my entire life. But this was different. Suddenly, my mind was filled with 'What if?'s – what if he really was just reaching for a book when he brushed off my leg? What if the subtle flirting was just his way of being friendly? What if he really didn't notice how much he was affecting me? What if I told him how I felt and he said "No"? Think about the awkwardness of a friend shooting you down in flames when you ask them out, then quadruple it for the fact that we're roommates – it's bad enough running into an old crush every now and again, without waking up next to them every morning (and not in the good way) – and then mix in a few "straight guy terrified of other guys coming on to him" vibes. Clearly, there's no way we'd come through something like that with our friendship intact, and that's assuming he'd even want to be around me after I screwed it all up. And, while this may sound hokey, I didn't want Jack to not be in my life any more, so when it came down to a choice between keeping him as a friend and risking it all for the sake of some half-imagined signals, there was no real question about it. But while I knew I couldn't ever do anything about it, that's the calm, rational way of thinking about things. There were still a lot of times when living with him was hell, when I felt like smacking him across the head and screaming "Are you blind, you idiot? I'm in love with you!", and after a year of it, I was just about reaching breaking point – even if I had to move out, I'd have done it if it meant hanging on to him.

So, when we traded in Shawn for an older, funnier, more attractive female roommate, it was perfect. Here was someone I could channel all my feelings into, transfer my embarrassingly huge crush onto without having to worry about driving away someone I cared about too deeply. And when Jack decided that he liked her too, it seemed…right, somehow. Damn if I can explain it, but the two of us going after the same girl made us closer on some level, while giving me enough distance from him that I could convince myself I was over him. And the best part was, I didn't even have to worry about the moving on part – anyone could see that Rachel was far more interested in Jack (not like I blame her or anything), so I could flirt with Rachel 'til the end of time and tell myself I was past it all without actually having to do anything. I've always been good at finding shortcuts, sidestepping the difficult stuff to avoid anything resembling hard work, and now I had found a quick-fix for getting over someone.

And then Chet died, and everything changed again.

The last few days have been a complete blur. The one thing that stands out clearly is how well Jack kept it together – I guess he was trying to be strong for himself and Shawn. But then, tonight, Rachel left to go and get some takeout for dinner, and for the first time in a while it was just the two of us alone in the apartment. And as we sat there talking on the couch, it all came spilling out – how much this all hurts, how lonely he feels, how much he regrets not getting to know Chet better, all the stuff you'd expect from a guy who just lost his father. And watching him rocking back and forth, too drained to even cry any more, it seemed like the only natural thing to do was to hug him, to pull him close and whisper into his ear how it's going to be OK, how brave he is, how he's surrounded by people who love him.

He broke the hug first, but only pulled back slightly, so our faces were still just inches apart. It can't have been more than a few seconds, but it felt more like an hour, just looking at him, paralysed by indecision. I'm not entirely sure who made the first move. Maybe I leaned in a little more, maybe he did. But the end result was the same – suddenly, I felt his lips pressing against mine, and the guy I had been fantasising about for over a year was kissing me, softly at first, then harder. I felt his mouth open and his tongue flickering lightly against mine. As the kiss grew deeper, I felt his arms sliding up and down my back, pulling me closer to him – instinctively, I did the same, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and there was nothing in my head but fireworks and blinding light.

And that's the 'here' and the 'what' that's got me so confused – somehow or another, I've ended up sitting here making out with my straight roommate. I know I shouldn't be. I know he's in a really vulnerable place right now, and this probably qualifies as taking advantage, but right now, I just can't seem to care. Something about this just feels…right. Like it's meant to be. It feels as though my entire world has shrunk to this couch, and nothing matters to me but this kiss.

Which is probably why I don't hear someone's key sliding into the lock behind me. Why I don't hear the door open, and footsteps coming through it. The horrified gasp that comes next, though, shocks me back into reality, and I hear Rachel's words with total clarity.

"Oh my God…"


	2. Inside

Series Title: Zero-Zero 

Summary: If sitcom characters had ever learned to lock their doors, half of the dramatic plot twists wouldn't have worked. But since they're all idiots… E/J slash

Sequel/Series: 2/4

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Chapter 2: Inside 

_Jack:_

"Oh my God…"

Eric and I jumped apart like we'd been electrocuted. Rachel was standing in the doorway of the apartment, keys in one hand, a bag of Chinese food in the other. She looked like someone had just punched her in the gut – her mouth was hanging open, and her eyes were already starting to fill with tears. I tried to speak, to tell her…I don't know. It wasn't what it looked like? We were rehearsing for a play? In the end, it didn't really matter what crappy line I was going to use – I opened my mouth and nothing came out of it. I guess I was still reeling from the kiss, and the part of my brain that handles the talking hadn't quite engaged yet.

"Oh God," she whispered again, before turning and running out of the apartment.

My first instinct was to follow her. I was already up off the couch and starting towards the door when it hit me – I couldn't run out on Eric like this. I didn't know exactly what had just happened between us, but I knew that when you've just been making out with someone, fleeing the room at the first opportunity is a little bit of a social faux pas. I turned to look at him, trying to work out what to do next. Luckily, Eric took the decision out of my hands.

"It's OK," he said. "Go, talk to her. You owe her that."

That's one of the things I really like about Eric. He can be stupid, shallow and monumentally self-absorbed when the mood takes him, but the rest of the time, he's one of the sweetest, most thoughtful people I know. The first thing to go through his head wasn't about either of us, or about what had just happened, but about Rachel, and how she must be taking this. I had the same overpowering urge to kiss him that I had felt just a minute or two before, but this time I settled for taking his hand in mine and holding it for a few seconds. Our eyes met, and I felt like my insides were melting. Where was all of this coming from? "I won't be long," I managed to say, then I sprinted into the corridor after Rachel.

The elevator had already started moving back down again, so I ran for the stairs instead. In a well-maintained building with modern machinery, I'd never have caught it, but since our super doesn't seem to have done any real work since sometime around 1972, and the elevator can't have been installed too long after then, I was able to make it down to the ground floor just as the doors were opening. Rachel stood inside, her arms crossed, still fighting off the tears. She raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything as I stepped in with her, still trying to get my breath back. The doors closed behind me with a ping. Between wheezes, I began to choke out an apology.

"Look, Rachel, I want you to know that I'm sorry, and that –"

She sighed heavily, cutting me off mid-flow. "I'm not mad at you, Jack."

"You're…you're not mad?" This was the opposite of what I'd been expecting. Rachel and I had been doing the sorta-maybe-kinda-interested dance for weeks now, and even though there was nothing definite between us yet, it still felt like what happened with Eric was somehow cheating on her.

"No, I'm not. Well, OK, maybe a little, but mostly I'm just upset. What I saw back there…it caught me a little off-guard. But it wasn't totally out of the blue."

"It wasn't?" Now she had lost me.

"Jack, Eric likes you. As in, likes you likes you. And as far as I can tell, it's been going on since long before I moved in."

"Guh?" was my only response. Eloquent as usual.

Rachel sighed again. "Boys are stupid," she muttered to herself, and I couldn't really fault her. "What exactly did you think was going on when he kissed you?"

I was stumped. Less than five minutes had passed since it had happened, and I hadn't even begun to deal with it yet, let alone had enough time to sit back, analyse it and figure out who was thinking what.

"I…I don't know."

"This is going to take longer than I thought," she said, sitting down with her back against the door of the elevator. "Take a seat," she added, patting the floor next to her. I sat down, still trying to process what she had just told me.

"Look, before we do this, I have to know one thing. What I saw just now – how long has it been going on?"

"No time at all! Tonight was the first…" I trailed off, but Rachel had heard what she needed to.

"That's all I wanted to know. If the two of you had been lying to me and keeping things from me, then I'd be pissed; we're friends, and I'd rather you break my heart than lie to my face. But aside from that, you don't have any obligations to me – if you want to kiss someone, then I have no right to stop you."

I said nothing for a moment as I let Rachel's words sink in. Even though what she said made perfect sense, we both knew it wasn't that simple. But it seemed like she was trying to avoid making a Big Deal out of this, and I wasn't exactly complaining. Then something else hit me.

"You seem to be taking the fact that I was making out with another guy pretty well."

For the first time, Rachel's mouth twitched in what almost counted as a grin. "Well, yeah. I figured out a long time ago that Eric had feelings for you, and for a while I thought you might like him too. I mean, you're both so close, and there's just something between you that I can't quite put my finger on. But then when you seemed as if you liked me, I thought I was wrong. I thought we might be the two who ended up together." Her voice began to crack, but she quickly composed herself. "I guess not. But that doesn't really matter any more. What's important now is that you figure out what you're going to do next."

"I guess…I should talk to him?"

"That's a start. And tell him what, exactly?"

"I don't know." And that was the truth – this had been the weirdest night of my life, and I could barely think straight any more. "I don't know how I feel about him, or how I want to go on from here. I thought we were just friends, but now…I really don't know what to think."

"Look at it this way. You've got me sitting here and Eric waiting upstairs. Given the choice, which of us would you rather be kissing right now?"

I didn't reply, but the look in my eyes must have told her the answer.

"Then whatever this is, you should go with it." I knew she was right. Maybe I had already known deep down, but having someone lay it out for me made things a lot clearer. I had to see this thing with Eric through, find out where it was all headed.

"Rachel…thank you. I was supposed to be apologising to you right about now, and instead you're helping me out with my stuff. You're a good friend."

"Yeah, well, you can pay me back in chocolate at a later date. And besides, yours and Eric's friendship means a lot to me, too much to just throw it away over this. Right now, though, I think I'm gonna leave. I need a bit more time to adjust to this, and besides, I've kept you two apart for long enough."

"You're sure you're OK with this?"

She hesitated for a second, then smiled. "Yeah. I'm sure. If I'm going to lose you to anyone, I'm glad it's Eric." She reached over and hugged me, then stood back up.

"Will you be OK for a place to sleep tonight?"

"I'll go to Angela's – she'll let me crash on her floor. Don't worry, I won't tell her why – I'll just say it's roommate issues." She hit the door release button and started to walk out.

"Hey, Rachel?" She stopped and turned. "How did you know? I mean, about how Eric felt?"

She smiled. "Little things here and there. I'd see him looking at you a certain way, or laughing just a little too loud at a bad joke you made, stuff like that. And also the pie."

"Pie?"

"After I moved in, remember that big food fight we had? And how I made the mistake of taunting Eric, so he went and got that cream pie thing from the fridge?"

"Right," I said, flashbacks of the god-awful clean-up the next morning hitting me. "Except he smooshed it all over my face instead."

She smirked at the memory. "I knew right then. Don't you remember being in 4th grade, and how you could never tell a girl you liked her, so you'd do other stuff to try and get her attention. Trip her up in the playground, put worms in her hair, tell her she had cooties? Eric was doing the same thing."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You always pie the one you love"

Rachel laughed too, then walked back into the elevator to hug me again.

"Go talk to him. Tell him how you feel. And don't screw it up!" And then she was gone.

I headed back up to the apartment, all the way trying to straighten out in my head what I was going to say. I knew it would all fly out of my mind the second I saw Eric, but I wanted to be prepared anyway. I reached the apartment door and stopped. This was it. Probably the biggest step I'd ever have to take in my life. I steeled myself, opened the door and walked inside.


	3. Across

Series Title: Zero Zero

Summary: Where do we go now? (Sweet chi-ild)…E/J slash

Series/Sequel: 3/4

Warnings: Slash. If that gives you the wiggins, click "Back" now.

Rating: T for some bad language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, both in the sense of the show/characters and in general, so sue all you want to, you'll get nothing.

Thanks to Wicked Wonder for the beta!

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Chapter 3: Across 

Eric:

I'm thinking of making "It seemed like a good idea at the time" into my life motto. As far as I can see, most of the mistakes I've made in my life have been made because they seemed to make such good sense while it was all happening. I didn't have to move into this apartment in the first place; I turned down at least 6 decent apartments when Cory dragged me house hunting, but this one was close to college and the rent was affordable, so moving in seemed like a good idea. I didn't have to stay here when I realized just how deeply I felt for my roommate; I could have left straight away, gone home for a week or two while I tried to find a new place, but I wanted to be around him as much as possible, so staying seemed like a good idea. I didn't have to kiss Jack earlier tonight; I could have pushed him away, laughed it off, put it all down to his grief and carried on like normal, but…well, do I need to explain why kissing Jack seemed like such a good idea?

And then there's the newest entry on the list – I didn't have to send him running after Rachel when she walked in on us. At the time it was a natural reaction – someone runs away crying, you don't just let them go, you make sure they're OK, but looking back now, chances are she would have been fine either way – it's not like they're officially going out. She'll understand that it doesn't mean anything, that Jack's just hurt and confused and doesn't know what he's thinking, and she'll be just fine. I didn't have to be pacing up and down the apartment wearing a groove into the floorboards while I wonder how the hell I'm going to get myself out of this one, but hey, it all seemed to make sense at the time.

In a way, I guess it was a self-defense instinct. If a problem pops up in life, then run like hell in the other direction – or better yet, make the problem run away from you. Same solution, half the work. I don't know what I would have said to Jack if Rachel hadn't picked that exact moment to get home, but I'm guessing it would have been idiotic. "I love you" or "I need you" or something equally desperate and designed to scare him away before anything had even started. So maybe this extra time is good – give me a chance to think, to clear my head, to get some kind of self-control back for the next time I have to talk to him.

But then there's the downside. Because all this time to think hasn't made things clearer – if anything, it's made them more complex. Before tonight, I was confused over the whole situation with Jack, and now things are even more screwed up I have absolutely no idea what to do. I keep running through all the different scenarios in my head, and none of them are working out in my favor. I tell him how I feel: he freaks out and I lose him. I laugh it off: things become awkward between us and I still lose him. I say nothing at all and we pretend it never happened: my head explodes, and that would probably mean losing him too, so you can see why I'm having trouble knowing how to act. And if it's hitting me this hard, I can't even imagine how crazy this must be making him, how difficult it must be for him to deal with this, and that's just another worry to add to the list.

So long story short, I'm freaking out right about now. And then I hear someone moving outside, and their footsteps stopping right outside the door. Crap! I can't let him come in and find me wandering round like a crazy person – and far more important, I can't look desperate. If I'm going to salvage any kind of dignity from this, I can't look like I've been waiting for him to get home. So I run into our room, jump onto the bed, grab the first book I can see and pretend to be engrossed in it. He'll never buy it (since when do I study when there isn't a test the next day?), but it's better than nothing. A few seconds later, footsteps sound across the wooden floor, up the steps and then he's standing there, looking as confused and messed up as I feel.

"Hey."

"Hey." Dammit. I can't even keep my voice under control – I sound like a 13-year-old just hitting puberty. Breathe, Matthews. It's only Jack. You've talked to him a million times before; you can talk to him now.

"How's Rachel?" Start with the easy stuff.

"She's OK. She's going to stay with Angela."

"Oh." Well, I guess that makes sense – dodging the awkward 'letting Eric down easy' scene. Hell, if I could find a way to not be here, I'd take it.

There's a painfully long silence, broken only by Jack's footsteps as he crosses the room and perches on the edge of his bed. After a few seconds, we both start to speak at once.

"Look, I'm –"

"Maybe we –"

We stop and there's a flicker of a smile on his face.

"You go first," I hear myself saying, that damn "Act, then think" reflex kicking in again. I should know better – I've seen enough movies to know that whoever goes second in a situation like this is always the one who gets screwed over. But it's too late now – he's started talking again.

"I'm not sure how to say this."

Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good. That's how you start the break-up speech – can we even break up when we're not going out? It's not as if there was ever any doubt in my mind that he was gonna be trying to blow me off; the only real question now is how? Will he go for the gentle "Let's just be friends", the harsher "Maybe we shouldn't live together any more", or will he just go out-and-out cruel and throw in the "I don't think we should hang out any more"? It's not like it matters too much. Whichever one of them he chooses is going to break my heart – it's just a choice between keeping an awkward, painful friendship or making a clean break of things. The saddest thing is, I don't know which I'd rather go through.

"When I was talking to Rachel, it made me realize some things."

Wait a second…oh crap! This can't be going where it sounds like it's going. There's no way he and Rachel could be getting together, is there? But that's sure as hell what it sounds like. I can't believe that a kiss between me and Jack has thrown the two of them together. Once again, the universe finds an inventive way to sucker-punch me.

"Certain…feelings I didn't really understand before are much clearer to me now." And then there's a slight change in his tone. All of a sudden he sounds…nervous? Scared? He's making a point of not looking me in the eye. "Eric, I don't want to lose our friendship, but sometimes…you have to take risks. You have to take a chance when the thing you might get in return is worth it."

It feels like he's just punched me in the gut. All the air seems to go out of the room and I have to struggle not to pass out. I knew he liked Rachel, but the fact that he's willing to gamble our friendship on it – and then have the nerve to tell me that what they might have is worth it? Anger starts to build up inside me as the full implications of this hit me. She matters more to him – our friendship is something expendable, something he's willing to risk. But as I'm getting ready to tell him what a lousy friend he is, to do the whole "yelling, screaming, throwing things" routine, he says it. It's barely above a whisper, and he spits it all out like one long word, but I still hear everything I need to.

"I think I'm in love with you."

The effect Jack has on me is incredible. Ten seconds ago, I was ready to kill him – a few words from him and I felt worse than I could ever remember feeling in my life. A few more words, and I'm pretty sure I've never felt better. Helovesmehelovesmehelovesmehelovesmehelovesme runs through my head on repeat, and it feels like my stomach is doing back flips. I still can't breathe, but right now it's the good kind of choking to death.

He looks up at me, meeting my eyes at last, and I can tell how terrified he is. Most of the time, Jack isn't the risk-taking type, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is the most daring thing he's ever done. For some reason, his fear seems funny to me – I guess because I've spent so long being scared to tell him how I feel, and now that I'm looking at it from the other side, I can see what an idiot I was. But this isn't the time for beating myself up, and it really isn't the time for laughing like a lunatic, no matter how happy I feel. He's still looking at me, expectant, waiting for an answer. I walk across the room, take his face in my hands and kiss him.

It's incredible – even better than earlier. The uncertainty, the holding back, all the little voices that were whispering in my head, telling me what a huge mistake I was making – they're all gone. All that exists is Jack, and his lips brushing gently against mine, and his arms sliding around me and holding me close. As we break for air, I'm finally able to tell him what I've wanted to for so long.

"I'm in love with you too."

And what else is there for me to say?


	4. Beside

Series Title: Zero Zero 

Sequel/Series: 4/4

Summary: Reflection and junk food…E/J slash

Rating: T

Warnings: Slash. If you don't like it…how the hell did you make it to chapter 4?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Disney owns everything. I solemnly swear I have never seen a _BtVS_ episode called _Becoming_.

Much love to Wicked Wonder for being beta-licious, and for generally propping up my ego.

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Chapter 4: Beside

_Jack:_

There are moments in life that change things. The most insignificant acts can cause the most incredible differences – that slight delay in the morning when you fumble with your keys in the lock could be the two seconds that keep you from walking in front of a bus, or that put you in line at the right time for a winning lottery ticket, or that have you bumping into the love of your life on a street corner like in some corny movie. Or they could be the two seconds that see you splattered on the sidewalk, or walking right by the person you're meant to be with without even seeing them. You never know when tiny moments like that are going to come along, and you could wonder forever about what might have been and never get anywhere.

Looking back on last night, though, it's obvious which moment defined things – Rachel offering to go pick up dinner. That was the insignificant act that left Eric and me alone in the apartment, and caused everything that happened afterwards. And no matter how pointless it is, you have to wonder – what if?

What if Eric had gotten home a few minutes later, or had gone to get food, and Rachel and I had been the ones left alone? What if she had been the one who comforted me, the one I kissed? What if I had ended up with her, and never known what could have happened with Eric? Maybe I'd be happy. Maybe I'd have kept on going, ignorant of what I felt inside and of how he felt for me, and been completely oblivious to what I was missing out on.

But that's not how things happened. Whether some higher power or pure chance decided it, I ended up kissing Eric, and that led to the next turning point, one which I had just a little more awareness of at the time. Because sometimes the moments aren't subtle. Some moments are smack-you-in-the-face obvious, and all you can do is sit tight and hope they work out for the best.

"I think I'm in love with you."

In one way, it's nothing. It's seven-and-a-half little words, with a vague disclaimer in front of them, suggesting that I _might_ feel something. In another way, it's everything – our entire future, as friends or otherwise, rested on how Eric responded to this. And for a few seconds, he said nothing. He looked at me, his face a mixture of confusion and disbelief, and I could feel my heart sink. Rachel was wrong. He didn't feel anything for me, the kiss had been nothing more than pity and this was going to be the biggest mistake I had ever made in my life. Sitting in our tiny room, feeling like the walls were closing in on me, it took everything I had in me to choke it out, and now I felt… lost is the only way to describe it.

And then he kissed me again, and told me he loved me too, and everything made sense. And that's how, what feels like a very long time later, he's lying beside me on my bed, still kissing me. The difference between kissing a girl and kissing a guy is… a little weird, but nice at the same time. Everything feels rougher, from the slight traces of stubble around his lips to the feel of his hand pressed against my waist. I've never done anything like this before, but somehow being with Eric feels more… natural, I guess, than being with girls ever did. Not that being with girls isn't great and all – I've never had any complaints in the past, or gotten any in return – but somehow it's always felt like something was kinda missing. Whatever that something was, I think I might have found it.

But everything ends eventually. Eric is the one to break it off, pulling back far enough to be able to look me in the eye, but still close enough that the tip of his nose is touching mine.

"Jack? I cab feeb by libs." But there's a smile on his face, one that widens as I give him a light punch on the shoulder.

"Goof," I whisper. But he's right – I need a break from making out before my lips fall off. I could also do with something to eat – Rachel took dinner with her when she hightailed it outta here. I guess she was hoping to bribe Angela into letting her in. Maybe pizza – Roma's is the nearest takeout place of any kind that delivers, so nine times out of ten it's our first stop.

"Hey, are you -?"

"Starving," he says, cutting me off mid-flow, then rolling off the bed and heading for the door. "I'll go order a pizza." At times, it's like we share a brain. It's a little scary to think that I'm on the same wavelength as Eric (who, by his own admission, is a few fries short of a Happy Meal), but I've adjusted to it in the last 18 months.

From the first time I met him there was a connection. All it took was a 2-minute interview and both of us shouting "Blue!" for me to offer him a room – alright, it may seem small, but something about him made me instinctively like him enough to know that I wanted to live with him. I don't think it was anything advanced as attraction back then – I genuinely never even thought about him like that before tonight. I mean, sure, I thought he was good-looking, and yeah, we were pretty close, but that was as far as it went.

But then tonight, sitting on that couch just inches away from him, something inside took over and I kissed him. I don't understand it, I sure as hell can't explain it, but I'm glad it happened, because it's made me realize what I should have seen before – that Eric's the one. He's sweet, he's funny, he's smart (in his own way), he's undeniably cute… he's perfect. And even though I already knew I loved him as a friend, it's in that moment, lying on the bed listening to the sound of his voice drifting in from the kitchen, that I realise that there's no "might" about it, no vague disclaimer needed. I'm in love with Eric.

I pick myself up off the bed and slowly walk out of the room and down to the lower half of the apartment, where he's just finishing on the phone.

"Un-huh…that's right…20 minutes? Cool, thanks a lot!" He turns around to me, but before he can say anything I pull him into a kiss. Drawing back a few seconds later, when I'm sure both of his full attention and his momentary silence (both very rare for him), I say it.

"I love you."

It's not the first time in our friendship that I've said those words to him. It's not even the first time tonight that I've said something along those lines. But this one is different, and we both know it.

An insanely happy grin splits his face, and even as I watch him sleep now it doesn't seem to have faded. We're curled up together on the couch where we crashed out somewhere around 2 A.M., empty pizza box and beer bottles spread in front of us, and the morning light is streaming through the French window. In a while I'm going to have to wake him up and get to class, but for now, I'm content to just hold him beside me and enjoy the moment.

If someone had told me 24 hours ago that this is where I'd be right now, I'd have had them committed. But life takes you to weird places, with tiny moments and decisions affecting the course of everything, and we don't always know where we're going to end up. I'm not too sure how I got here, but right now, here suits me just fine.

* * *

A/N: The good news is, this mini-series is finished ("…and there was much rejoicing"). The bad news is, I've already got plans for the next one. Any offers of money, souls or first-born children to make it stop can be sent via the review button. 


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